Mr Finally

So it’s been a seriously long time since I had sex. I’ve had a very, very long dry-spell! But that all ended last night. I’d been friends with Mr Finally for a fair while now. He’d always come over to watch a movie or we’d go out to dinner but there was nothing romantic or sexual about it. I didn’t find him attractive. He had a big nose, was too skinny and kinda awkward but he was very funny and I did want to be his friend!

Last night he came over and we had a LOT to drink. Together we polished off two entire bottles of sauvignon blanc over the course of the evening. Things (of course) got a little bit frisky when he said his back was hurting and asked me to give him a massage. Of course I did. I was seriously fucking drunk. After a minute he said it was hurting and asked if I had any oil. In my drunken state, I thought it would be hilarious to bring out lube instead of oil. Whilst giving him a lube massage, I then thought it would be hilarious to stick a finger in his ass. He also found this hilarious.

Then we both thought it would be hilarious to get naked. And then I thought it would be hilarious to stick my cock up his ass. So that is how Mr Finally and I had sex. I fucked his really tight ass quite hard, which by the sounds of it he found quite painful. My drunkenness made me last for a very long time. He just lay on his stomach moaning while I fucked him from on top. But at the end I flipped him over and came all over his face. He showered and left.

I woke this morning on the couch with a seriously bad headache. And then I remembered the antics of the night before. Drinking is dangerous!! I felt better after having FINALLY got laid but I don’t think Mr Finally was the right person to fuck. Oh shit I didn’t even use a condom!